Best of the fest
THE TOP 10 FUNNIEST GAGS OF THE FRINGE
London comic Dan Antopolski, who is known for his surreal stand up routines won the Dave Award for the 2009 Funniest Joke of the Fringe for his hedgehog humor.
Judges chose the winner from a pool of around 7,200 different jokes, of which the short-listed jokes were put to more than 3,000 comedy fans to choose the funniest. Antopolski took top spot with nearly 18 per cent of votes and walked away with a trophy from TV channel Dave and a £1,000 cash prize. Here’s a look at the TOP 10:
1. Dan Antolpolski – "Hedgehogs - why can't they just share the hedge?"
2. Paddy Lennox – "I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. I thought: 'This could be interesting.'
3. Sarah Millican – "I had my boobs measured and bought a new bra. Now I call them Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes because they're up where they belong."
4. Zoe Lyons – "I went on a girl's night out recently. The invitation said 'dress to kill.' I went as Rose West."
5. Jack Whitehall - "I'm sure wherever my dad is; he's looking down on us. He's not dead, just very condescending."
6. Adam Hills – "Going to Starbucks for coffee is like going to prison for sex. You know you're going to get it, but it's going to be rough."
7. Marcus Brigstocke – "To the people who've got iPhones: you just bought one, you didn't invent it!"
8. Rhod Gilbert – "A spa hotel? It's like a normal hotel, only in reception there's a picture of a pebble".
9. Dan Antopolski – "I've been reading the news about there being a civil war in Madagascar. Well, I've seen it six times and there isn't."
10. Simon Brodkin – "I started so many fights at my school - I had that attention-deficit disorder. So I didn't finish a lot of them."
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THE MOST MEMORABLE BAD JOKES OF THE FESTIVAL
Hedgehogs may be funny with Fringe fans but some of the jokes at this year’s festival proved less popular. As voted for by comedy faithful, here are the worst 10 of 2009.
Carey Marx - "I'm not doing any Michael Jackson jokes because they always involve puns about his songs. And that's bad."
Stephen Carlin - "There are so many 'failed train' announcements at stations these days. It's not rolling stock, it's laughing stock."
Celia Pacquola - "My mind is like a cement mixer. It's grey, thick and always moving."
Rhys Darby - "I don't believe in guns. Literally; I don't believe they exist."
Frank Woodley - "I phoned the swine flu hotline and all I got was crackling."
Anna and Katy - "I dated a woman from the Chinese State Circus. One time I took her upstairs for a 69. She said, 'I'm not cooking at this time of night.'"
Alex Maple - "Michael Jackson only invented the moonwalk so he could sneak up on children."
Phil Nichol - "She's got a face like a rare Chinese vase – minging."
Denise Van Outen - "A brunette, a red-head and a blonde break out of Holloway Prison. They hide in a barn from the police and get into some sacks. The police come in and feel the sack with the brunette in it - she goes 'miaow!' They go on to feel the sack with the red-head in it - she goes 'woof!' Finally they feel the sack with the blonde in it. The blonde shouts 'potatoes!"
Alistair McGowan - "I've just split up from girlfriend, which is shame because it was a long-standing arrangement. Perhaps if we'd sat down a bit more..."
